Well…..the end is near. We watched Chicago win the Stanley Cup last night but I think Cookie was with us by the TV just so she wouldn’t feel alone.
Sorry for not having any photos but the site is giving us troubles for some odd reason.
Cookie was doing just fine (on the outside) until her 6th and final chemo on June 11th (amputation was Jan. 8th of this year). We’d go for short/medium walks, hang out at parks until sunset and wait in the yard in the morning for our neighborhood “dog-friends” to come and visit. She’d eat with gusto twice a day and I even got to change a little bit the “secret ingredient”….actually more like the “secret food preparation method” for the two weeks that V. was in Italy at her parents’s house and it was a lot of beautiful quality time together.
On the day of the 6th and final chemo, we did a set of X-Rays and it showed she has 3 sarcoma lumps in her lungs. The vet advised to do the last chemo anyway to give her a better chance, but in hindsight I am not so sure if that did any good or if it even maybe worsened the situation. If we had not done it and she were in the same spot today, we’d be kicking ourselves for not doing it so it seems like you can’t win either way….
The first 2/3 days obviously she was miserable from the chemo, but she never really bounced back like she did the other 5 times. We should have known since at her last round of water treadmill exercise back in early May, she was super tired and panting, but sometimes you just look into her eyes and see that they’re smiling and they’re still bright and happy so maybe you just tend to ignore reality. In any case, on Sunday June 23rd she actually threw up her morning food for the first time and eating since then has been a challenge, to the point that she won’t even have her favorite ice cream now. We can tell she’s running frequent fevers since her head and ears get warmer in cycles, and she doesn’t do much when around the house other than sleep most of the day. Going potty is a little bit of a battle, except for when we go to the park, where apparently the “I’m sick and I don’t want to go potty” rules don’t apply….
The trips to the park give us a little bit of comfort, but it appears now that she has a bump/lump on her one front remaining leg and so we’re now somewhat worried that the osteosarcoma is there too. We’re fearful she may break that only leg now: if you are a QuadriPawd and become a Tripawd, it’s actually not so bad, but to become now a BiPawd and not have any front legs is not going to be a good thing.
We called the vet today and inquired about the details of how to go about ending her life in a humane way, so we’re mentally prepared (at least we think) to possibly make our final trip on Friday, but this evening she ate out of our hands some really yummy foods, with lots of “secret ingredient” so part of us is hopefully that maybe this is just a moment, but a part of us also knows that all in all it is simply downhill from here and it is just a matter of when.
As I write about this, it dawns on me that technically it is always a matter of when, for everybody and for anyone, human or animal…..we start dying a little bit each day at a time right after we’re born, but what counts is the experiences and memories we collect along the way. Hopefully we won’t be posting much anytime soon, but if we do, it will be for a good reason.
Best,
I’m sorry to hear this about your girl. I hope whatever is going on with her right now is just “a bump in the road,” and that she starts to feel better really soon. The Tripawd Nation is sending you positive thoughts Cookie!
I’m so sorry to hear this and we are sending good thoughts your way. Please give Cookie some snuggles from the Tripawd family. For us trying to be prepared and knowing what our options were really helped us focus on Daisy and our time with her. Hugs to you and Cookie.
I’m so sorry to hear this.. It is hard to prepare for this.. but we all know in the back of our minds that it will happen one day… My Franklin was with me for 5 1/2 glorious, beautiful months filled with snuggles on the couch and lots and lots of belly rubs.. The spark was back in his eye for a while there.. but he did develop mets in his lungs as well. His wheezing and the look in his eyes is what told me that day had come.
You will know.. and our strength is with you at that time..
give her a snuggle from me..
Hey guys we are so sad to hear this I’m really sorry that you are facing this difficult time. Cancer sucks in a big way.
You are terrific pawrents for being so in tune with Cookie. It’s not easy to accept that the end of the journey is approaching, but if you can be strong and know that each day you have left together still has gifts to share, this part of the ride can be easier to take.
My heart goes out to you. Please come to our forums when you want a shoulder to lean on.
Yeah, the website has been off and on sue to rotten hacker wanna bes.
Your sweet Cookie Monster sure does know what it feels like to be loved! I’m glad he’s feeling a .little better today and maybe he’s just going through a little of the “gold day……not so good day” for a bit.
You mentioned the possibility of a fever which, of course could mean infection—whic of course could make him feel poorly. Have you had him checked for that? Even though he has the other “lumps” they may not yet be causing a problem. I’ve forgotten who it was now, but someone on the site UST went through some of the similar emotions and it was an infection causing g the problem.
Combine that with feeling yucky after chemo and. maybe that’s all that you’re dealing with for now. Paws crossed!
My computer’s getting ready to crash….will write more later.
You hang in there and be present in the. lament. Nothing can rob you of the time you have together.
Hugs to all of yo….great big hugs…..
Sally and Happy Hannah
Tnx Sally and Happy Hannah!! We went to the vet and it turns out that the front leg is fine and there is no cancer in it, it is just swollen a little bit in the paw and at the wrist. The appetite/throwing up thing is apparently related more to the chemo effect so, for now, we continue to live!! Thank you so much for the “good day and not so good day” analogy, it made us see things in a much different light.
Thank you so much all and thank you also Sally and Happy Hannah. We hope that indeed it is something else so we’ll get it checked out and hopefully it is unrelated….